In Paul's final epistle, Second Timothy, he writes the familiar and comforting words: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Tim 1:7). I find the context of this verse gives me greater appreciation for this simple truth. Paul was preparing himself for death. He knew that he did not have much time left before he would be killed. If anyone has a right to be frightened, I think Paul, knowing he was about to die, would have that right. I do not believe this verse means that he was not frightened at all, but he recognized the source of that fear, and was therefore able to rid himself of it. Similarly, I think of the comparatively minute things that cause fear and anxiety in my life. I get afraid of not getting my internship, or failing an exam. These fear-inducing items, are not life-shattering. My life will go on, whether my fears come to past or not. However, knowing that fear does not come from God, I can see how the FEAR is what could harm me. Fearing the future, is no way to live. God doesn't want us to live in fear. He wants us to  be happy. That doesn't mean there will not be sorrow, but it does mean that God can give us "power, . . . love, . . . and a sound mind," in order to assist us in our sorrow, and to pull us out of our fears.

The past several weeks, I have thought a lot about how our choices, and actions are tools helping us reach salvation. Throughout my life I have read and heard the doctrine "We are saved by grace after all we can do." I've thought about this battle between grace and works, and finally this week, I hit a breakthrough. To me, it did not make sense that we would be saved without being good people, without having righteous works. Our actions have consequences, otherwise why would we be here? On the other hand, how could we possibly earn our way into heaven. That didn't make sense to me either. We are nothing compared to God. How could we ever live lives that are good enough to earn salvation? The answer is, we cannot. So where is the balance between grace and works? Which saves us? The answer: Grace does. The Grace of our Savior. He is the only reason we can be saved. However, in order for Him to save us, we need to come unto him. We come unto him through faith-filled works. That is how His Grace and our works are connected. And THAT makes complete sense to me. Christ suffered for us, so that we could be redeemed from our sins. He did what no one else could. It is only through Christ that we can be made clean, and "no unclean thing can enter the kingdom of God." However, Christ cannot do it alone. We have to allow Him to wash away our sins.

D&C 19:16-17

16 For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;

 17 But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;

To be made clean, we must repent from our sins so that we are made worthy to enter the kingdom of God. But we cannot do that alone. Only through Christ and His Grace, can we be made whole.

Being in school, I often feel pressed for time, and sometimes completely overwhelmed by the things going on in my life. When you add the frustrations of school with the other trials in life, and the goals and aspirations I want to achieve, it can feel like everything is whirling around me and that I am losing control of certain things in my life. In Acts 27, Paul and the men that are carrying him captive to Rome, are in what I perceive to be a similar situation. They are on a boat when the East wind starts to blow and they start to lose control of their steering. In verse 18, the men, "being exceedingly tossed with a tempest, . . . lightened the ship." They did this, by throwing out the excess and unneeded. It is interesting that I almost feel the opposite when my way gets rough. I start to try and do everything at once, and sometimes, I even add things to my list, thinking that it may help with the "must do's". President Uchtdorf gave a talk about this very concept in October 2010. He said

"When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be. . . .[However], there comes a point where milestones can become millstones and ambitions, albatrosses around our necks."

When I am going through my own tempest, I should remember the lesson of Paul and lighten my load. Struggles are not reasons to increase my load of work, they are reasons to let go of the unnecessary and excess. They are ques to return to the simple truths and the things that matter most. I believe that when we lighten our loads, we can more easily turn the steering of our boats, to our Father in Heaven. By doing so we will be blessed and we will feel the helplessness, and hopelessness of a storm out of our control pass by us without harm. 

Romans chapter 8 is referred to by my professor, as the "you're okay, you're going to make it" chapter. There are three specific sections in this chapter, that personally help me to know that I am okay, and I am going to make it. First, verses 16-17: "The spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God." Then 17 goes on to describe that because we are His children, we are heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ. I love these verses because it reminds me of where I came from, who I am, and where I am going. In a way, it lays out my road map, and reminds me that to get to my destination I must remember a very significant truth. This truth is that I am a daughter of God. When we really understand and accept this knowledge of our origin, I feel as if our pathway through life opens up and becomes more clear. Not that life necessarily gets less difficult, but that we are now armed to battle the troubles we come in contact with. We are no longer helpless.

The second section in Romans 8, is verse 26. "Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered." Through our trials, and weaknesses, we have all felt to some degree, the pain of feeling helpless, and maybe even hopeless. Because of this pain, sometimes we do not even know how to voice or yearnings and pleadings with the Lord. However, we do not have to. The spirit of the Lord can understand the things we cannot articulate. In my mind, this is because he knows us like nobody else knows us. He knows exactly what trials we are facing, and how those trials are hurting us. He knows how to help bind up our wounds, and heal us.

Finally verses 38-39. "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." I feel as if I don't need any other explanation to this verse. It is so beautiful. I feel that at times we may be numb to the spirit, and to the love of our Savior, but numb is the key word. If we are numb to something, it does not mean that it is not present or does not exist. In my opinion, being numb to the love of Christ, is simply caused by ourselves creating a barrier between us and that love. Nothing can separate us from the love of God, except ourselves. 

Reach out and Lift up

In first Corinthians, Paul wrote to the people there, and talked of a man who had committed adultery with his father's wife. He told them to "therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person" (1 Cor. 5:13). However, in 2nd Corinthians 2:6-8 Paul again addresses the problem of those who have sinned and been cast out. He says,

"Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many. So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him."

I find this passage of scripture one of the most beautiful examples of forgiving and loving one another. How many of us do not make mistakes? How many of us feel the shame, or the hurt from the consequences of our actions? Elder Holland discussed a scenario of a man, who in case of bad judgement, went out into rough waters, and then after being beaten by the waves, realizes his mistake and tries to come back to safety.

"When a battered, weary swimmer tries valiantly to get back to shore, after having fought strong winds and rough waves which he should never have challenged in the first place, those of us who might have had better judgment, or perhaps just better luck, ought not to row out to his side, beat him with our oars, and shove his head back underwater. That’s not what boats were made for. But some of us do that to each other.”

We are all in the position of both the drowning man and the saving boat. We all sin, and make mistakes we wish we could take back, and we are all longing for loving forgiveness from those around us. A forgiveness that can help lift us out of the sins we have committed and help us to rise above them and become better. However, we are also the holders of the oars. It is our decision whether we use those oars to beat others for their sins, or if we use them to reach out and lift others to higher ground through our own forgiveness and love.

"Teach me all that I must Know, Do, and Be."

In the famous LDS song "I am a child of God." There is a line that originally said, "teach me all that I must know, to live with him someday." Later this line was changed to "teach me all that I must DO . . ." My religion teacher said that if it were to be changed again, it would read "teach me all that I must BE . . . " This procession of know, do, be, is a process. Our actions depend on our knowledge, and our character depends on our actions. I really liked this idea, because it points out our purpose and gives us steps to getting there. My professor posed this question: is our purpose on earth to get somewhere or to become something? In the context of the question (after emphasizing the BE) I was sure that the correct answer was to become something. However, this is a trick question. The answer is BOTH. We are to become like our Savior in order to return to be with Him someday. We should not get so caught up in our purpose to BE better, that we forget our destination and the reason behind becoming. In  order to fulfill our purpose on earth, we need to learn of Christ and what he did. Then we need to come unto Him and do as He does, so that we can become as He is. I know that as I strive to follow Christ that He will help change my heart and lead me to be like Him.

I grew up in a family that consistently observed the Sabbath day. I was taught the commandment of keeping the Sabbath day holy through appropriate activities and church attendance. I was told about the creation and how God rested on the Sabbath day, just as we should use it as a day of rest and spiritual rejuvenation. To this day, I believe in the importance of keeping the Sabbath day holy. However, this week I was reminded about the true reason for Sabbath day worship, and I was a little ashamed that I had lost sight of the reason behind it all. My professor, Brother Griffin, discussed how the Sabbath day is a day of celebrating and commemorating. Before Christ, they celebrated the most miraculous and important event known to man, the creation. After Christ, we now celebrate the Resurrection of our Savior, which is the most magnificent, redeeming event in all existence. Our Sunday meetings and Sabbath observance are to help us remember and review the Savior's life, death, and resurrection. Everything should point to the savior and his sacrifice for us.

I like Sundays, but I had forgotten their importance. It had become a day to go to my three hour block, not do homework, and to just relax. All of which are good things, but they should be accompanied with earnest effort to open my heart to my Savior. Resting is not the same as slacking off and vegging out. We are supposed to rest from our labors, the things that are burdening us, by turning to the Savior and letting Him lift our burdens for us. Last night I was able to experience the lifting power of Christ in my life. I was feeling extreme anxiety about my first exam review. I felt almost sick with worry, and I couldn't get it off my mind. I did not think I was going to be able to sleep, I felt so awful. Then I found a book I had made last summer, filled with all my favorite quotes. Below is one of the quotes I read from President Hinkley.

We know not what lies ahead of us. We know not what the coming days will bring. We live in a world of uncertainty. For some, there will be great accomplishment. For others, disappointment. For some, much of rejoicing and gladness, good health, and gracious living. For others, perhaps sickness and a measure of sorrow. We do not know. But one thing we do know. Like the polar star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds, there stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor of our immortal lives. He is the rock of our salvation, our strength, our comfort, the very focus of our faith. In sunshine and in shadow we look to Him, and He is there to assure and smile upon us.

This was so comforting to me. I literally could feel the stress, and anxiety I had been holding onto all evening melt away. The sure knowledge that the Savior lives, loves me, and wants to help me with any problem I may be having helps me to keep perspective. I hope to work harder to take advantage of my Sundays, that I realign my priorities with the Lord and truly rest from my labors.